The Torah tells us to “Remember the Shabbat day to sanctify it.”1 From this verse, we learn the mitzvah to actually declare that Shabbat is holy at the beginning of Shabbat. That’s the heart of Friday night Kiddush.

Our Sages instituted that this sanctification should be said over a cup of wine, and that we also make a shorter form of Kiddush before the daytime Shabbat meal.

Below is a practical guide to the basic laws of Kiddush, with answers to many common questions.

Who Needs to Say (or Hear) Kiddush?

Both men and women are equally obligated in the mitzvah of Kiddush.

Normally, women are exempt from positive, time-bound mitzvahs. However, because women are equally included in the Shabbat restrictions, they’re also equally obligated in the positive mitzvot of Shabbat, including Kiddush.2

So, if a woman does not hear Kiddush from someone else (typically a man), she should make Kiddush herself.

She cannot fulfill her obligation by hearing Kiddush from a boy who is not yet bar mitzvah. Even though the minor is obligated to say or hear Kiddush for educational purposes, his obligation is only rabbinic. Therefore, he cannot fulfil the obligation for the woman whose mitzvah of Kiddush is on a biblical level.3

How Big Does the Cup Need to Be?

The cup must hold at least a revi’it of wine and needs to be filled to the top.4 There are differences of opinion regarding the size of a revi’it, but it’s accepted to be around 86 milliliters, roughly 3 U.S. fluid ounces.5 If possible, it’s best to use a slightly larger cup—around 100 ml (3.4 fl. oz.)—to accommodate other opinions and allow for any wine that might spill before drinking.6

Can I Use a Plastic Cup?

Ideally, use a proper, non-disposable cup for Kiddush—the nicer the better. That said, if no other cups are available, use a disposable cup.7

How to Hold the Cup During Kiddush?

There are different customs for holding the Kiddush cup.

Many, including Chabad, do the following:

  1. Lift the cup with the right hand.
  2. Transfer it to the left hand,
  3. Then place it on the right palm, with the fingers raised around it, holding it slightly above the table (e.g. three tefachim).
  4. The cup is then held in the right hand until the end of Kiddush.8

Should I Sit or Stand?

Nighttime Kiddush: Halachically, it’s acceptable to sit, and there are varying customs, with some sitting for certain parts of Kiddush. Kabbalah teaches that Kiddush should be recited standing. The Chabad custom is to stand for the entire nighttime Kiddush on both Shabbat and Yom Tov.9

Daytime Kiddush: The Kabbalists debated whether the daytime Kiddush should be said standing, like at night, or sitting. In practice, many who stand at night sit during the day.10

In Chabad, the practice is not fixed. The Rebbe seems to have stood for Kiddush privately but sat during public farbrengens, raising himself slightly for Borei Peri Hagafen. Overall, there is no single established Chabad custom.11

How Much Do I Have to Drink?

If you’re the one saying Kiddush, you should drink at least a cheekful of wine, enough that if the wine were moved to one side of your mouth, that cheek would appear full. For the average person, this is slightly more than half a revi’it, but it depends on the size of your cheek. Note that even if you have large cheeks, the minimum amount never exceeds a revi’it.12

Can Someone Else Drink Instead of Me?

Ideally, the one actually making the Kiddush should drink the cheekful of wine themselves. That said, in extenuating circumstances, someone else can drink the obligatory amount.13

If I Hear Kiddush From Someone Else, Do I Need to Drink From the Kiddush Wine?

From a halachic standpoint, if you hear Kiddush, have in mind to fulfill your obligation, and the person reciting Kiddush also has you in mind, you have already fulfilled the mitzvah—even if you don’t drink.

Nevertheless, it is considered an additional mitzvah to drink from the Kiddush wine as well. For this extra mitzvah, any amount of wine is sufficient.14

Those listening should not drink until the person reciting Kiddush has taken the first sip.

However, if each person has their own cup of wine (see next section), they may drink right away without waiting.15

Does Everyone Need Their Own Cup?

No. Those listening to Kiddush do not need their own cup of wine.

If they want to participate in the mitzvah of drinking the Kiddush wine, they can drink either directly from the Kiddush cup itself or from another cup into which some of that wine was poured.

If, however, each person has their own cup that meets the halachic requirements for Kiddush (i.e., it holds a revi’it and is used properly), then it’s considered as if each one is making Kiddush over their own cup. In that case, they don’t need to drink from the main Kiddush cup at all.16

How to Pour the Wine for Others to Ensure the Wine Isn’t “Blemished”?

Ideally, Kiddush should be recited over unblemished wine—meaning wine that no one has yet drunk from. This preference extends not only to the one making Kiddush, but also to those who wish to drink from the Kos Shel Brachah.17

Wine poured straight from the bottle is considered unblemished (assuming no one drank from the bottle). Once the person reciting Kiddush takes a sip, however, the remaining wine in that cup becomes pagum—“blemished.”

For this reason, many have the practice that right after finishing Kiddush—but before drinking—the one making Kiddush pours a bit of wine from the Kiddush cup into a second cup for others.18 In doing so, he simply needs to ensure that at least a revi’it remains in the original cup.19

Alternatively, if he has already drunk from his cup and now wants to pour for others, the solution is to add a small amount of wine directly from the bottle into his cup first. This restores the wine’s status and removes the pagum concern.20

If, however, the listeners are drinking directly from the Kiddush cup itself, then no “fixing” is needed.21 (Practically, this is usually done only among immediate family members who aren’t particular about sharing the same cup.22)

Do the Listeners Make Their Own Hagafen (or Hamotzi) Blessing?

In theory, if you fulfill your obligation by hearing the blessing over wine or bread from someone else who is themselves eating or drinking, you don’t need to make your own blessing.

However, halachah also says that if you’re being included in someone else’s blessing over food or drink, you may not interrupt (with talking or delays) between hearing the blessing and actually eating or drinking yourself.

Because of this, many—including Chabad—have the custom that when it comes to Hamotzi over bread, each person makes their own blessing when they receive their piece, rather than relying on the one who cut the challah.23

Regarding the Hagafen blessing over wine, many are careful not to interrupt, so they don’t make a second Hagafen when they later drink. However, if you did interrupt (for example, you talked or got very delayed), or it’s a large gathering where it will take a long time until you actually get wine to drink after the public blessing, then you should make your own Hagafen blessing when you finally drink.24

What If There’s No Wine or Grape Juice?

Friday Night

If you don’t have wine or grape juice, you can recite Kiddush over bread.25 (See footnote for proper procedure.26)

Shabbat Day

If no wine is available, Kiddush may be recited on chamar medinah, a “significant” drink in your culture that’s served to guests, similar to wine. The preferred option is an alcoholic beverage like beer or liquor. The next choice is tea or coffee.27

If even chamar medinah is unavailable, you should simply wash, recite Hamotzi, and eat bread.

If you don’t have either bread or wine (or chamar medinah), you can eat without reciting Kiddush.28

Do I Need to Eat in the Same Place I Make Kiddush?

Kiddush should be recited in the same place where you’ll eat a meal, a principle known as Kiddush bimkom seudah. This applies both at night and during the day.29

Ideally, you should begin eating immediately after Kiddush. If you intended to eat right away but were delayed, even for a long time, a new Kiddush is not required.30 However, if you had no intention to eat after Kiddush and were then delayed for a long while (according to some, 72 minutes31), Kiddush must be repeated.32

There can be a delay when it’s halachically related to the meal itself. For example, at the Passover Seder, Kiddush is recited well before the meal because you need to say the Maggid section in between.33

To fulfill Kiddush bimakom seudah, you need to eat at least a kezayit of mezonot or bread, or at the very least, drink a revi’it of wine.34 Once you’ve eaten this amount, you can continue the meal in a different location.35

If I’ve Already Made or Heard Kiddush at Synagogue, Can I Make It Again for My Wife (or Others)?

For the daytime Kiddush, there is no issue with making Kiddush again, since it’s essentially the blessing of Hagafen.

For the nighttime Kiddush, some are stricter about repeating Kiddush if you’ve already fulfilled your obligation. Still, if it’s difficult for your wife or others at home to make Kiddush or to drink the required amount themselves, you can make Kiddush again on their behalf.36

Can I Eat Before Kiddush

Once the time for Kiddush arrives, whether on Friday night or Shabbat day, you shouldn’t eat or drink until Kiddush is recited.37

On Friday night, the prohibition begins as soon as you accept Shabbat (if you’re accepting Shabbat early), or at sunset if you have not accepted it earlier.38 On Shabbat day, the obligation begins after Shacharit.39

Children, even ones who have reached the age of education, can eat before Kiddush at any time.40