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The Road Back: An Evangelical Minister Rediscovers Her Jewish Identity

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The Road Back: An Evangelical Minister Rediscovers Her Jewish Identity

In her teens, Tonica Marlow was accepted as the youngest student at a noted Christian theological college, and within a few years, she became an ordained minister. With all of her success within the church, she felt a deep void inside. Tonica Marlow, now Tova Mordechai, shares her extraordinary journey to becoming a Chassidic woman, currently living in Israel.
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Tova Mordechai, formerly an evangelical minister, is the author of her acclaimed auto­biography, “To Play With Fire”. She resides in Safed, Israel, with her husband and four children.
Chana Weisberg is host of the Ordinary People, Extraordinary Stories podcast and curator of advanced learning experiences on Chabad.org. She lectures internationally on issues relating to women, relationships, meaning, self-esteem and the Jewish soul. She is the author of six books. Her latest book, Shabbat Delights, is a two-volume series on the weekly Torah portion.
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racheli Brooklyn via JewishTV Android December 29, 2024

It was beautiful it spoke to it felt like this helped me. Reply

Chana Lakewood, NJ November 15, 2024

I have Tova's book ever since it was first published. Hearing her in person was amazing. Her story brought me to tears. Reply

Jodi Nicastro Stony Brook November 7, 2024

Wow Tovah was amazing! Please have her back. I would love to hear how she left the church and became Torah observant! Thanks Chana! Reply

Latroch Mohamed November 1, 2024

Je veux être juif et apprendre ta culture S'il te plaît, dis-moi quoi faire Reply

Julie Baltimore October 31, 2024

I love Tovah! I was in Machon Alte just as she was getting ready to leave to get married. Such a beautiful pure soul. I am inspired to be like her and I was so bf excited to see her interview. Thank you! Reply

Ayana Newton, MA October 30, 2024

I believe it is worth noting that Tova’s experience is in a fringe Protestant denomination of rural UK and not Roman Catholic, Orthodox/Catholic or mainstream Anglican/Episcopalian, Lutheran mainstream Christianity. I wish there was more detail regarding the ‘seminary’ that accepted 16 year old girls 40 years ago (circa 1984) and engaged in apparently odd behavior towards their seminarians. It is important to give details since I have publicly debated various non-Jews and unfortunately Jewish intellectuals that make similar remarks about Yeshiva students based on bad information or the anecdotes of Yeshiva ‘dropouts’ . I am not sure her story is typical of Christian experience in their churches since they really don’t seem to have animosity towards Jews from my over 5 decades of experience with them. I am happy for her and her experience is valuable, but I think she was escaping a cult and whether it was Jewish, Christian, Muslim , Hindu or Buddhist is less relevant; she escaped B’’H Reply

Karen NYC October 31, 2024
in response to Ayana :

The group with which she was involved definitely seems to have been off the beaten path, to put it mildly. I don't think even cloistered Roman Catholic orders are subjected to the austerity described, much less the psychological beat-downs. However, as she points out, there are those who crave this life; I'm just glad that Tovah's Yiddesheh neshomeh asserted itself. Reply

Mette UK November 1, 2024
in response to Ayana :

I absolutely 100% agree. This lovely lady’s definition of Christianity (about 15 minutes into the video) is nothing remotely recognisable. It saddens me that it should be promulgated as such.
Thank you Ayana, your words are far more eloquent than mine❤️ Reply

Yehuda E Spring Valley October 29, 2024

Absolutely gripping! The Godly forces that tore her away from the depth of the church and brought her back to her people... I can understand how her uncle was chozer b'teshuva after seeing Yad Hashem... Reply

Sharon Dodge (Sharon Leviah Yehudah ben David) Camano Island, Washington 98282 October 28, 2024

Her story sounds like mine. I too am a Ordained minister and found out later that I am of Jewish heritage. My Dad told me after I was married so I pursued finding out more. My maiden name was Rothrock meaning Red Coat. I found out We are Ashkenazi and the name is for someone with red hair. My dad was a carrot top and mom black hair, I always had auburn hair with lots of reddish hilights. I understand they spoke Yiddish I don't but have been studying Hebrew on line through the Hebrew University in Jerusalem. I also have been studying the Torah the last few yrs to understand the Laws and learn the prayers, songs, and about the Jewish people in the begining. I have been going to Israel since 2015, mainly Jerusalem, every year since and sometimes 2 X's a year for the Feasts. I was in Jeerusalem 2023 when the war started and saw the families who were traumatized. I volunteered in the soup kitchen at King of Kings accross from the Abraham Hostel in Central Jerusalem. I love Israel Reply

Karen NYC October 29, 2024
in response to Sharon Dodge (Sharon Leviah Yehudah ben David):

Is your mother Jewish? If she is/was, so are you as Judaism is matrilineal. Reply

Mrs. Chana Weisberg October 31, 2024
in response to Sharon Dodge (Sharon Leviah Yehudah ben David):

so interesting! thanks for sharing. Reply

Mrs. Chana Weisberg October 31, 2024
in response to Karen:

yes, Tova's mother was Jewish as she explains in her story. Reply

Sharon Rothrock/Dodge Washington November 3, 2024
in response to Karen:

My mother died when I was 5 yrs. old and no one seems to know anything about her heritage. My father is Jewish and in the old testament it was the fathers Bloodline when did it turn to the mothers and why? Many have told those on my fathers side our name was a Jewish name so I have been trying to track it down. Ancestry went back as far as the 15 century when they came to America with the Moravian church. I woujld like tlo know more. Do you have any suggestions?
Reply

Karen NYC November 3, 2024
in response to Mrs. Chana Weisberg:

No, I meant Sharon Dodge. She mentions her father and says her parents spoke Yiddish but that's no guarantee (e.g. James Cagney spoke fluent Yiddish). Reply

Karen NYC November 8, 2024
in response to Sharon Rothrock/Dodge:

Sarah's line was what became Jewish (not, you will observe, Hagar's) and Ezra told Jewish men to leave the foreign women with whom they'd been cohabiting and their children from them. One can only be Jewish from birth if one's mother is Jewish according to our laws. I recommend reading "Why Is Jewishness Matrilineal?" here on the Chabad site to dispel the "in the old testament it was the fathers Bloodline" myth.
Was your father's mother/maternal grandmother Jewish? If not, he wasn't Jewish. I suppose you could do DNA testing to see what turns up but the results still won't determine whether or not you're actually Jewish. I'd point out that many more Germans have German surnames than do Jews.
I'm truly sorry about the loss of your mother at such a young age but you'd need to know about her background to determine whether or not you're Jewish. Reply

Yael NJ October 28, 2024

Amazing story. Wow. Hashem answered her prayers! She kept davening and Hashem pulled her out! Wow!
Another phenomenal interview! Thank you Chana! Reply

Mrs. Chana Weisberg October 31, 2024
in response to Yael:

Thanks for writing! Reply

Galinda South Africa October 28, 2024

Wow! Wow! Wow! Such a tear-jerker; I sat riveted! Although my church background is very different - Baptist, but mostly Pentecostal, even Toronto "Blessing", etc., etc., for the first 31 years of my 40 year detour until the last 9 years as a messianic, while coming out of it - there is so much that Tova said which resonates with me because of the downgrading of the soul in all streams of Xianity (that's the only way they can make us think we need a sacrificing demi-gd-"savior"), and the Jewish soul that seeks more!!! I'm 60 and only just 2 years out; have changed & grown more in those 2 years than I would ever have grown in a million while growing upside down... and still in the very difficult first stages where I wish it could all happen quicker.
Thank you for sharing your very intimate story. One struggling Divine spark (her uncle) - resurrected the Divine spark within Tova, which in turn reignited the Divine spark in your loved ones... & in many others. Reply

Mrs. Chana Weisberg October 31, 2024
in response to Galinda:

Galinda, your story sounds fascinating. One soul touching another. Reply

Sb October 28, 2024

Wow truly incredible! Reply

Shoshana Brooklyn October 28, 2024

Tova’s story touched me so deeply that I have now found myself crying. Her story is somehow best described by me as bittersweet. I wouldn’t mind to have contact with her, if possible, but regardless it was beautiful to listen to. All the very best to you for sharing it. You are truly a very sensitive and beautiful soul. Despite all the many amazing stories you’ve had, Chana, this one hit more closely to home for me. Yasher Choach. Reply

Susan Lockhart Bahamas October 28, 2024

Thank you Tova Mordechai for a real testimony. She was with darkness and G-d helped her find His path to the light.I pray for her relationship with her Christian Family. I am an evangelical learning about the Jewish Faith. Reply

Very curious Israel October 26, 2024

How did she get out of the church?! The podcast missed the main point! Reply

mp USA October 30, 2024
in response to Very curious:

Tova said that she ran away from the Christian organization/ building with only the clothing she was wearing (what she could carry) and luckily a Jewish family took her in. Reply

Maxi Mill North Miami October 31, 2024
in response to Very curious:

Exactly! getting out of the church would be the great witness... Reply

Sarah Birk November 5, 2024
in response to Very curious:

She details that in her book, "To Play With Fire." Reply

Robert October 26, 2024

Wow wow I can connect too this pretty much the same background mother was Jewish but raised Catholic christian. Felt so empty inside though I was religious. Reply

Karen NYC October 29, 2024
in response to Robert:

If your mother was born Jewish, so are you. Maybe you'd like to think about coming home? Reply

Chaya Yehudis Dank Monsey, NY October 22, 2024

I want to connect to Tova Mordechai to discuss the concept of spirituality vs G-dliness. Is there a way I can reach her? Thank you. Reply

Chaya Yehudis Dank Monsey, NY October 21, 2024

I so relate to Tova Mordechai's story. Especially the power of the mezuzah! I would love to know how she raised a frum family, especially coming from a deep place of wanting to connect to Hashem and the emes. That's so similar to my own journey, as she says, the journey of a Jewish soul. Thank you so much for your kind, facilitating interviewing style, she was able to express her passion in a free and uninhibited way. Reply

. October 15, 2024

Thank you so much for this Chana and Tova!
So inspiring and meaningful! Reply

Mrs. Chana Weisberg October 31, 2024
in response to .:

Thank you all for writing and sharing your comments. I love to read your feedback! Reply