Some find Judaism’s fixation on minor details of behavior to be burdensome, even petty. It is indeed puzzling that an infinite G‑d would care so much about seemingly trivial aspects of our private lives, such as whether one turns on the lights during Shabbat or enjoys a slice of cheese on a burger. And yet, the Torah, as elucidated by the Talmud, is full of G‑d’s commandments that impact every moment of our day, from the way we wake up to which shoe we put on first.
Interestingly, the Hebrew word mitzvah, which is commonly translated as commandment, is related to the Aramaic word tzavta, to attach.1 In this light, rather than seeing them simply as rules dictated by a king to his subjects, mitzvot take on a more intimate, even romantic, connotation. They are not only acts of law, but also acts of love revealed to us by our Beloved as invitations into a deeper relationship.
Reflecting the notion that mitzvot are acts of Divine romance, the blessings we recite before fulfilling mitzvot begin with the words, “[Blessed are You, L‑rd, our G‑d, King of the universe] Who has sanctified us (kideshanu) through His mitzvot, and has instructed us to… (here the blessing includes the specific mitzvah one is about to perform).”
Remarkably, the Tanya2 points out that the Hebrew word kideshanu can mean both sanctified and betrothed.3 This means that each time we perform a mitzvah, we thank G‑d not only for “sanctifying us through His commandments” but also for betrothing us through His commandments!
The Tanya continues: “...like a man who betroths a wife so that she be united with him in a perfect bond, as it is written,4 And he shall cleave to his wife, and they shall be one flesh. Exactly the same, and even infinitely surpassing it, is the union of the Divine soul that is engaged in Torah and the commandments...with the light of the blessed Ein Sof. This is why Solomon, peace be upon him, in the Song of Songs, compared this union [with G‑d through the mitzvot] to the union of bridegroom and bride…”
Similar to a spouse’s request to prepare their favorite dish in a particular way, or to wear a certain piece of jewelry to a special event, the mitzvot are expressions of G‑d’s innermost desires. Our attentive fulfillment of their every detail is thus an expression of our desire to be close with G‑d.
From a philosophical point of view, as finite beings we should have no available means to meaningfully engage with an infinite G‑d, much less to achieve any degree of intimacy. From a purely rational standpoint, the distance between Creator and creation is unbridgeable.
Nevertheless, G‑d chose to invite us into a relationship, which is what makes this connection possible. The cosmic chasm is thus traversed through our inspired acts infused with loving attention, tending to all aspects of our beloved’s desire.
In choosing us as the recipients of His love and setting His heart upon our finite gestures of affection, G‑d makes Himself vulnerable, so to speak, as He awaits our expressed devotion.
This, however, presents a paradox, for, ultimately, G‑d does not need us or our mitzvot.
By definition, G‑d is omnipotent and without any lack or dependency whatsoever, as the verse5 states, If you are righteous, what do you give Him; what does He receive from your hand? G‑d did not create humanity because he needs or seeks to gain anything from us, but, to the contrary, in order to bestow goodness upon us.
In any relationship, the ability to express one’s love and meaningfully contribute to the relationship is both gratifying and dignifying. Without any possibility for reciprocity or sense of responsibility, a mature and mutual love is simply not possible.
The mitzvot were thus lovingly designed to give us the means to concretely convey our love and to actively participate in our relationship with G‑d.
This ought to change our perspective on mitzvot.
Mitzvot are not G‑d’s way of dictating our every action or diminishing our sense of agency and power. Quite the opposite! Mitzvot are the G‑d-given pathways through which we may enter into a deeper and eternal connection with the Divine. Through their performance, our sense of purpose and impact is enhanced, as our finite actions take on cosmic ramifications and reverberations.
When viewed from this perspective—as active fulfillments of G‑d’s desires—the seemingly minor technicalities and petty nuances of the mitzvot are no longer trivial but are nothing less than the keys to G‑d’s heart.
Mitzvot aren’t restrictive commandments that we have to do; they are acts of spiritual connection that we get to do.
Mr. David Stauber and his wife once went for a private audience with the Lubavitcher Rebbe6.
He came as an observer without any particular question of his own, but as he was told to write something, he wrote a question that had always bothered him: “If G‑d is so great, why does He insist on all these tiny details? It seems to upset G‑d if we miss one.”
During the meeting, the Rebbe turned to him and said, “I don’t understand your question.”
Mistakenly thinking that the Rebbe had not understood what he wrote, he proceeded to translate it into Yiddish. The Rebbe raised his hand to stop him, explaining: “It is not for G‑d; it is for us. G‑d wants us to be close to him, and this is the path He gives us.
“He is essentially saying: ‘If you follow this path, you will find me.’ It is not ‘if you don’t follow this path, I will hurt you.’ Just the opposite. ‘I want you to come close. Here I am giving you a path through which you can find this proximity, this closeness.’”
“It was a very radical thought to me,” David recalls. “I had never seen Judaism in that light. To me, Judaism had always seemed focused on what is forbidden, and it seemed to be saying that G‑d wants subservience, not love—that I must conform my conduct in order to avoid G‑d’s wrath and punishment. I had never seen it in a positive way—that G‑d loves us and wants us to come close to Him.
“This really intrigued me; I was taken. I felt like I was in a dark room and someone had turned on the light.”
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