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They Cremated Mom; Could I Save Dad?

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They Cremated Mom; Could I Save Dad?

Seeing how members of his own Jewish family abandoned Jewish burial in favor of cremation, Tuva Sablosky has become a tireless advocate for providing every Jew a proper Jewish burial.
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Chana Weisberg is host of the Ordinary People, Extraordinary Stories podcast and curator of advanced learning experiences on Chabad.org. She lectures internationally on issues relating to women, relationships, meaning, self-esteem and the Jewish soul. She is the author of six books. Her latest book, Shabbat Delights, is a two-volume series on the weekly Torah portion.
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Niece U.S. September 21, 2024

How does one reach Rabbi Zohn? A relative has in his will to be cremated and he is currently not in good health. Reply

Ivan Tibor Mate San Antonio, TX August 7, 2024

I refused to go back to the old country for my father's funeral.
His funeral was delayed about one month because too many "comrades" were dying in those days. He was in an open coffin, with makeup and groomed hair - at his second wife's demand.
It still hurts. The rabbi said I don't have to say Kaddish, but I did anyway.
I wish that he was interned the Jewish way like all his ancestors, except the relatives who were murdered in Auschwitz or tortured and killed in Ukraine by their "fellow citizen" soldier guards. They were enlisted under military command, they cynically called it labor service.
My youngest uncle Simon (Zoltan) Mermelstein was shot in the head at point blank, and his body was left in the snow somewhere near Harkov. Reply

valerie ohio August 3, 2024

well, i know that a person can donate a living organ, to a loved one or other person while alive;

....yet i decided to be an organ donor after i pass away -- in good conscience, too. why not try to be of service to another human being?

maybe i'll change my mind....(can't imagine they would take them anyway, from all the years of smoking, etc.)

thank you... Reply

Nadine Memphis, Tn...cemetery in NY August 1, 2024

Very interesting as I am facing a cousin who has it written that he be cremated with the ashes sprinkled over his mom's grave....can you do this in a Jewish cemetery? Reply

Jodi Nicastro Stony Brook July 30, 2024

What an important topic! Reply

valerie ohio August 3, 2024
in response to Jodi Nicastro:

it sure is an important topic. in addition to what i just commented on, my sister is a fanatic born again and already has her cremation planned. that's her decision and there is no changing her mind, so we'll each do our own thing.....i plan to be buried the Jewish way, without question. thank you for listening. Reply

Alizah Mazal Jerusalem, Israel July 30, 2024

Even in the case of cremation, heaven forbid, kaddish should be said for the neshama of the deceased!
[Based on Hazon Ovadia Avelut vol. 1, p. 529. See there for many sources.] Reply

Rob Smith RBS ISRAEL August 1, 2024
in response to Alizah Mazal:

If the person was burned...OR,If the person CHOSE THIS METHOD?
Get back to me. ALL opinions are not to...but if you have a YAIS OMRIM (an equal weight opinion counter to that), please reply! Thanks. I searched for your page 159...Sefardic outlook, I cannot find it. Reply

Alizah Jerusalem August 4, 2024
in response to Rob Smith:

Ask your rabbi to help you find it in the sefer I mentioned on page 529. Reply

Rob Smith Beit Shemesh, Kew Gardens August 4, 2024
in response to Alizah:

That said the only thing we can do in this world, is make choices.
if the person, up until the last second says "CREMATE", we don't say Kaddish.
Again, if there is an opinion to the contrary, I like your reply "go ask your rabbi".
Spitting in Hashem's face, as a last act (even if the person merely regrets being orthodox! I wish I went jet skiing on Shabbat like my friends"...Poof! Gone!. SO to if they regret not keeping Shabbat .on a Wednesday! and Pass on Thursday. Never kept...but they are a "shomer Shabbas"). We don't care what Uncle Moe or cousin Max thinks. We care what Ribono Shel Olam thinks. again, across the board mainstream, we don't say Kaddish for someone who asked to be burned. From the RAV, of course. Reply